Welcome to Bruisetown

I thought that I wouldn’t be as bruised up after ACL surgery as I was after ACL/PCL surgery, but I was wrong. Dead wrong.

Here’s my right leg after ACL/PCL reconstruction:

Pretty gnarly, for sure. But that’s nothing compared to what greeted me when my surgeon changed my bandage today: Continue reading

Posted in Knee injury, Recovery | Tagged , , , | 19 Comments

How to Poop After Knee Surgery: A Practical Guide to Post-Surgical Bowel Movement

One thing that’s interesting about writing a blog is that I can check my blog’s “stats.”  One of the stats that is recorded is a list of search terms that people have used to find my site. That means every time somebody types something into Google and then visits my site after it pops up in their search results, my blog’s stats keep a record of what search term was used to find it. These search terms range from mundane (“acl surgery”) to mildly amusing (“billy ripken fuck face”) to hilarious (“pictures of men on the toilet”). I don’t know exactly why somebody was looking for pictures of men on the toilet, and I don’t really want to know, but I got some site traffic and a hearty laugh out of it, so whatever. I hope that goofy pervert found something to his liking.

I have this picture to thank for that search result

I thought that nothing would ever top “pictures of men on the toilet” as my favorite search term, but I was proved wrong today when I logged on and discovered that Continue reading

Posted in Knee injury, Recovery | Tagged , , , , , , , | 60 Comments

Percocet Makes My Brain Work Not Goodly

Anybody who’s had ACL surgery and isn’t an idiot will tell you that the worst part about recovery is the first week, a fact that I learned roughly 3 months ago while I was recovering from my first knee surgery. For one thing, your recently-surgered leg is placed in a stabilizer brace that is locked at full extension, rendering you incapable of performing even the slightest of tasks without some level of discomfort. Even the most basic activities of daily living like putting on socks now require great cunning, agility, and perseverance. I’m sure it would help if I had any kind of hamstring flexibility whatsoever, but I obviously don’t, so I’m going to just throw in the towel and wear flip flops until I’m Continue reading

Posted in Knee injury, Recovery | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Here We Go Again…

Well, it’s been 3 months and 2 days since my last surgery, which means it’s about damn time for another one. So tomorrow at the ungodly hour of 5:30 a.m. I’m going to roll out of bed, head to the surgery center, and get a shiny new anterior cruciate ligament installed in my left knee. This one’s been a long time coming, since I tore my left ACL about 2 and half years ago and have just been putting off surgery ever since. In reality, I could probably forgo this procedure and still lead a fairly normal life, but I’d also never be able to play sports like basketball or football without using a brace, and even then my knee would slip around a little bit, which could hook me up with some sweet arthritis and joint pain later in life. So, I’ve opted to choose the lesser of two evils and suffer through a few weeks of relatively slight discomfort rather than debilitating, chronic pain upon reaching old age.

Continue reading

Posted in Knee injury, Surgery | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Get Bent

A while back I made a comment about how the only response I would get when asking about physical therapy was “It sucks.” For the first few weeks of my physical therapy experience, I thought that everyone else was just a huge wuss for saying that; for those first few weeks PT was, if anything, very slightly uncomfortable. Of course, that was before my therapist started bending the crap out of my knee, turning me into a blubbering, whimpering baby. Continue reading

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Zombie Knee Hits the Town

After several weeks of doing absolutely nothing except watching movies, suffering through increasingly painful physical therapy sessions, and generally just being in a foul mood, I had the opportunity to test out my new knee in Ocean City, MD this past weekend. Having conquered such daunting obstacles as staircases and uneven pavement, I figured it was time to see how my zombie knee would hold up to a night out in the seediest place on Earth.  I had gone to see my doctor before leaving for the ocean, and he told me that I could start weaning myself off of my brace. I told him that was terrific news, and decided not to tell him that I hadn’t worn it for over a week. Continue reading

Posted in Knee injury, Recovery | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Back on the H-O-R-S-E

It’s no secret that I love to play sports. I’ve been playing one sport or another year-round since I was about 8 years old. Baseball, basketball, football, soccer, badminton, whatever; if it involves a winner and a loser separated by points, I’ll play it. And for the past four years I’ve played baseball literally year-round, which I’m sure every other college athlete can relate to. I even played on 2 summer league baseball teams last year, one of which was the Susquehanna Assault, which is probably the only team in existence named after a violent crime. Continue reading

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